I’ve been working on writing a book recently about the keys to living a deep, meaningful life. There are so many factors to consider on the surface, but what I have discovered is that a lot (maybe all) of our
happiness in life is due to our mindsets. We all have our own set of filters by which we view and judge the world. These filters may be learned, biological, or intentionally applied, but we all have them and they are the initial contact the outside world has with our thoughts. Something happens in the outside world, we immediately put it through our filters, pass judgment/categorize it, and then react with thoughts, actions, and/or emotions.
A key way to shape our thoughts and emotions is by being intentional about the filters we employ. I have found through research and coaching several filters that make a huge difference in one’s mindset. These filters have such a monumental effect on our state of being, that I believe they may essentially be categorized as natural truths about how we “ought” to interact with the world. I will be doing a series of posts briefly focusing on each of the filters I think are important to adopt to create a deep, meaningful life. The first one I want to touch on is my favorite because I find it particularly beautiful…
Everyone is 100% lovable as they are
Yes, everyone! Even those that commit unspeakable crimes. Even those we commonly view as the most “evil” among us. It does not mean one’s actions are also to be loved and condoned. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, be their friend, or even want to hang out with them. Being 100% deserving of love does mean that even the “worst” of us are worthy of empathy and understanding. It is the understanding that everyone is human and to see them as 100% lovable is to accept this. Anything less than this is to reduce their humanness and our own.
If you adopt this filter by which you see others around you, your overall love quotient cannot help but increase. You see others with eyes of love first while cynicism, fear, disgust, and anger take a backseat. Instead of seeing the “faults” of our friends and family, we see their cute, lovable, and amazing selves. We are then better enabled to help others and contribute to the world when we have an approach that treats all with this love and respect.
It is an especially powerful filter for those moments when we struggle with self-image or self-compassion as well. Imagine if we could all go through life believing at all times that we too are 100% lovable. It would be a life with much less self-doubt and shame. A life in which we are confident in who we are and less susceptible to unhealthy habits, addictions, depression, body shame, and bad relationships.
Try this filter on. The next time you find yourself judging others or yourself, follow up that judging with the reminder that everyone is 100% lovable just as they are. Nothing you think is true about them or yourself can change that. Take that with you as you go out into the world and see what arises.