What if growth meant staying right where we are in life and not moving forward? At least not in the traditional sense of what “moving forward” means - changing careers, starting a family, moving to a new house, or other significant life changes. The idea runs contrary to what we have been told about growth and positive change. We are always SUPPOSED to be finding our passion, learning a new language, becoming our own boss, making new friends, etc. However, if we look internally, real growth can happen apart from any external life changes. Not only that, but real growth happens first and apart from those major external changes.
This growth takes place when we slow down and appreciate exactly where we are right now in THIS moment. Try this thought on and see how it fits:
You are exactly where you need to be in life and you have everything you need in this moment to be happy.
If you have a negative, knee-jerk reaction to this premise, slow down your mind and examine the thought(s) you are telling yourself. Get curious about them. Maybe you hate the job you’re in, are unhappy about your current romantic relationship or lack of one, or have a health issue troubling you. It could be any number of thoughts that are keeping you stuck and unwilling to accept the mentioned premise. They are grounded in real, actual situations, but they are still simply thoughts and under your control. What’s more, they are not doing you any good. Note, I am not speaking of the emotions you may be experiencing and definitely do not want to discount them. They are very real and contribute to our reality. However, they are shaped by our thoughts. Our thoughts are the roots to the flowers that are our emotions. If we want to produce healthy, blooming emotions, then we need to take care of our roots; our thoughts.
Start feeding those roots by completing this thought - "My life is complete because…" or "I am happy when…" Remind yourself often of what brings happiness in your life. No bit of happiness is unimportant. No matter how small it is. For me that's opening my bag of coffee each morning. That smell brings a smile to my face each time. I am happy when I open that bag. I'm so thankful to be able to get out of bed each morning and have that experience. It may seem small, but it goes a long ways towards creating strong roots for my thoughts.
Practice shaping your thoughts and once you find yourself in a place of comfort, you are then in a position to make more effective and efficient decisions in your life. You will be coming from a place of clarity on what exactly you want your life to look like. Your changes come from a space of awareness and acceptance rather than resentment or frustration. You have the healthy roots that allow for a successful replanting. If a replanting is in fact even desired. You may find yourself wanting to cultivate more fully the life you are experiencing in the present with no big changes. Sometimes we can remain planted in our current soil and find it suits us quite well. There's no need to present a challenge to change for ourselves. Growth can simply be enjoying the present and growing in your capacity to fully feel that enjoyment.